I honestly don’t mean to be a Scrooge, and I actually think that ultimately I’m not… Truly. Remember that as you read this. I do love the holidays, I love it brings out the best in people, I love tasteful decorations, and I love that my kids believe in all of it. Not just Santa, but in the miracle of Channukah, the birth of Jesus and all of it. (I swear one of these days I’m going to start reading them Siddhartha as a bedtime story just to add a theological wrinkle.)
Here is something I don’t love…
I will be the first to admit that I don’t understand a lot of things about Christmas. I am Jewish, and have always have a love/hate and love to hate relationship with a lot of things Christmas. I won’t get into it in detail but I spent one Christmas break at probably the worst.temp.job.ever where I was putting samples of gum into little packets and then heat sealing the packages. All while wearing a hair net, gloves, lab coat (yup I looked like Laverne and Shirley) and listening to Christmas music on CBS-FM for EIGHT HOURS A DAY!!!!!! I’m sorry but that is just too many times to listen to anything holly jolly. I also don’t understand inflatables but I get that my kids like them. And I get that how as a kid I would have wanted one too… but really, parents you have the purse strings, you can say NO!
Back to my original soap box…. CARS DECORATED TO LOOK LIKE REINDEER!
SERIOUSLY?! I mean, SERIOUSLY?!?!??!?!
I’m going to apologize now for any of my friends who may have in fact decorated their cars as reindeer, you might want to stop reading, or by all means defend your choices. Was it a momentary state of holiday adrenaline rush? A drunk Amazon purchase? A gift you feel obligated to display? Are you really a 17-23 year old girl?
It is impossible to take anyone with this on their car seriously while driving. I’m not going to let you merge, because I will laugh at you every time you honk your horn. Seeing you does not put a smile on my face, it puts a scowl. Just keepin’ it real here. It is like the teddy bear on the front of the Mac truck. It just doesn’t work. It looks stupid. No one is going to tell you that to your face because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. But really, if someone at your office saw you get out of your car in the parking lot whatever clout you have, it will drop.
I’ll give a pass to the wreath on the front of the car, although honestly isn’t it enough to just have one on your house. Or 10, because heaven knows you need one on every window…. pushing it down… the every window thing doesn’t bother me all that much.
Let’s just all take a pact. STOP DECORATING YOUR MODE OF TRANSPORTATION UNLESS YOU’RE IN A PARADE OR BEING PAID TO ADVERTISE SOMETHING.
Thank you that is all… I’m going to go see what that Ghost of Christmas Past wants with me.
Oh and Happy Holidays.