I’m trying to speak but girl you got me tongue-tied
I’m trying to breathe but I’m f-f-f-frozen inside
I’m trying to move but I’m stuck in my shoes
You got me paralyzed, paralyzed, p-p-p-paralyzed
I see you walking, but all you do is pass me by
Can’t even talk, cause words don’t fall into my mind
I’d make a move if I had the guts to
But I’m paralyzed, paralyzed, p-p-p-paralyzed
So whenever I work on a large personal project I get to a point where I feel absolutely paralyzed.
Why? I’m not sure.
Maybe it’s because it’s coming to a close and I don’t want it to. Maybe it’s nerves that all my planning was for naught. I don’t know, but I’ve always been that way. From my senior art show in high school, to graduating college, to our wedding, to closing on the house. It’s very odd considering how decisive I am and how well I plan things. I’m sure that at some point I will get what I have referred to as “wedding day zen.” That feeling the morning of the wedding when you know that all your hard work is going to come to fruition and whatever happens, happens. There is nothing you can do to change it at that point. And no matter what, it will be perfect because it is yours.
I have been delaying even posting because I want each of these to be “perfect synopsis” of whatever I’m thinking or doing. I want the pictures to be perfect, organized, show a clear story, etc. But that’s just it. the story isn’t always clear and concise and i don’t have to be either.
So as we start down the final stretch I’ll be posting fast and furious. I hope.